Have you ever set out to have a romantic evening and have it fall flat? Did you know that you have the power to transform any ordinary night into a deeply intense, knock-your-socks-off love extravaganza you’ve only read about in novels? All it takes is you, some patience and a mental shift!
Even though you love your partner, you may be self-sabotaging your romance by letting your own negative feelings seep in. Do you criticize your body, try to keep it hidden in the dark and under the covers or perform theatrically for your them instead of really being in the moment? If you do this, you’re taking the focus off of the experience and turning it into a production. You have inadvertently made yourself a checklist of things you must and must not do. Doesn’t sound very romantic, does it?
Relationships are ongoing conversations and experiences between partners. Love doesn’t always play out like a movie, and it takes communication before the event to make sure both partners are on the same page. If your relationship is great and there are no pressing problems in it, you should also examine your relationship with yourself to see if you need some self-care. Once you embrace this, you can work on deepening your mind-body connection and do a mental shift to enhancing your love life.
Meditating is one great way to establish an ongoing mind-body connection and really embrace your inner self. You can start by blocking out a time when you’ll have twenty minutes to yourself. It helps if you have a clear mind, so it might be a good idea to wake up twenty minutes earlier than you usually do to start your mediation practice with a blank slate.
1.Start by sitting or lying in comfortable position. If you are worried about losing track of time, set an timer for twenty minutes or however much time you would like to spend meditating.
2. Take a deep cleansing breath in through your nose and exhale it slowly through your mouth.
3. Repeat step two and when the breath comes in feel your chest fill up with air; when you release it, feel how the air flows out through your mouth. You can say to yourself, “Rising” on inhalation, and, “falling” on exhalation if you’d like.
4. Continue this practice for the next few minutes, and if you find yourself distracted by negative back to the thoughts or planning, you can revert your attention back to your breath.
5. If you have overwhelming thoughts of negativity about yourself, you can imagine treating yourself as a friend or a child who needs comforting, let those negative thoughts go and send yourself feelings of love. Then return your attention to breathing.
6. When your timer goes off, close your session by wishing yourself love, and start your day.
With time, mediation allows your negative feelings to come up and give you the opportunity to examine them from a detached perspective. It allows you to sit with yourself and gives you time for self care. When you feel supported, your relationships will benefit, including your romantic ones.
Mediation by focusing on your breath also allows you to be present in a moment. When you are having a loving evening with your partner, you can draw on this practice and really enjoy the moment and the event instead of retreating to your head with worry about what you should look like or how you think you should be behaving. Focusing on the moment and being present in the situation will ultimately improve your relationship with your partner, give you the confidence to express yourself and most importantly, help you truly accept yourself.