Most modern relationship-help guides focus on communication, but rarely do these texts delve into how important communication is when it comes to physical closeness. While relationship advice tends to focus on conflict resolution, perhaps more focus should go into communication concerning the act of lovemaking.
Men and women who take the time to communicate with their partners about closeness are better lovers because they are concerned about the happiness of their partners. Some partners avoid asking these questions or feel awkward talking about such a private act. In fact, one therapist recently revealed on her blog that some of her patients admitted to being comfortable talking to her about lovemaking, but not to their partners! Even though it can be difficult or even embarrassing to talk about such a private matter, it can only benefit you if you know what your partner likes and doesn’t like. In fact, knowing these things honors your partner and can deepen your committed relationship. People who are comfortable with their partners and confident in their lovemaking will often ask the following questions to ensure that their partner is happy with their physical relationship:
1. What are some of your most-liked physical experiences and what did you like so much about those experiences?
A man who asks this question is showing that he is open-minded and is happy to recreate his partner’s best experiences. When answering this, think back on your experience with lovemaking, and remember which moments you remember as the most satisfying. When someone asks you this question, they are showing that they are comfortable enough to ask about your entire history and are more concerned with your needs than his or her ego. This person is ready to find out what you enjoy and make sure you are happy. You may need time to answer this question, so feel free to take time to answer. You may even wish to take the time to write down your experiences before you share them.
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2. What does your idea of a perfect !nt!mate relationship look like?
When your partner asks you this question, try to think about the following: frequency that you would enjoy closeness, what kinds of acts you would enjoy performing, and how emotional you would like your sessions to be. Having an idea of what kind of physical relationship you would like to have ensures that you are ready to ask for that kind of relationship.
3. What do you like about your current physical relationship?
Because people are often embarrassed to talk to one another about their needs, couples are often surprised by their partner’s answer to this question. Even if you and your partner have been together for a long period of time, he or she won’t know what they are doing right unless you tell them!
4. Is there anything you would like to do more together?
If your girlfriend or wife takes the time to ask you this question, do not be afraid to answer! It’s good to talk about the specific physical acts you would like to enjoy with your partner. Talking about this will help you and your partner to find out what you enjoy together, and trying something new or revisiting a favorite experience can only bring you closer.
5. Is there anything new you would like to try?
It is unfortunate that we often feel uncomfortable expressing our desires to our partner. Be open and honest when answering this question. You’ll never know if you’d like a certain physical act unless you try it!
Remember that when answering the above questions, you should use “I” statements as much as possible so that your partner is sure to get the most honest answers from you. Don’t be embarrassed or feel awkward! Adults with a healthy romantic life shouldn’t feel any shame in expressing their thoughts and feelings about closeness with their partners. In fact, feeling comfortable about lovemaking makes it more enjoyable. If your partner asks you any of the above questions, you have a keeper!
Source: Run Happy Run Healthy